Dear 2019

Dear 2019

You have a lot to live up to. Last year was great. It obviously had its down times, in fact a few of those with two deaths in the family, one of which I am finding it incredibly hard to still come to terms with, as well as the passing of a blogging friend. 

It was definitely one of those "life is for living" reminders. 

I wrote my Dear 2018 post and wrote down some words that explained my expectations and my wishes for that year. 

Memories, strength, the best version of myself, confidence, belief, growth, knowledge, faith, strength, trust, determination. 

I also wrote a post about my promises for the year:

Save money, be in control of finances and outgoings, lose weight, write more, meditate, oracle cards. 

I can honestly say I only really did well with meditate and oracle cards. The others were a fail. But never mind. Not worth stressing or beating myself up over. 

To focus on 2019 I feel it's important to look back on 2018. To look on areas that worked and that made me feel better. 

I receive emails from a newsletter called Wild Arisings and I've just received one that I think goes well with this post that I write.

“What do I REALLY want in 2019?”    

What do I want from 2019, pretty much the same as 2018, but maybe a bit more security. To feel a little more, well, a lot more secure, in a few aspects of my life. 

Some of it is to do with things I cause, with my actions, and other things to do with other people, choices and things out of my or anyone elses control.

I've not had the best start to the year, but, I will not let that define how my year will be. 
It doesn't mean that this is how my year will be, and in fact has made me realise that it is down to me to guide what happens, down to me to decide on what controls my life, and down to me to react in the way best for me.

I guess in 2019 I am going to make me more important. 
Looking after myself, my needs, my wants, my feelings. Make me a priority and to look after myself, no matter what the consequences are.

Last year I worked a little on my own strength and not being so concerned about what other people thought of me, or of other peoples opinions. And this year, I am going to work further on that. 
To speak up for myself, and to not worry about whether or not people like my hair, like my tattoos, think I'm fat or so on.

2019, I want you to be my year of focus on me. On happiness, being content, secure, confident and sure that everything I do is for me. 

And that's it. No list of other things to focus on, nothing else to wish for or want. A simple, realistic goal to look after me. 

Five Things | 2018 Highlights

Travelling

I know this is quite a cliche highlight I guess but 2018 was lovely for me in terms of travelling. I guess having a boyfriend who also likes to travel and explore different places was a real bonus and a real advantage to make this happen. 

Not only did we experience a "beach/hot" holiday with Fuerteventura in April, we then had a camping holiday in Scotland, and a city break in snowy Lviv, Ukraine also. As well as a trip to Whitby and Scunthorpe and my own mini-break to Somerset. 

Lviv, Ukraine was somewhere I never would have thought about visiting, and I'm so glad we went. It was absolutely beautiful and an amazing experience. Scotland was also an experience with camping, being restricted due to the islands we visited, and the midges! 

Driving

Bit of an odd one I suppose but when I think back to 2018 one of my highlights and successes was definitely driving. I drove a hire car when we went to Fuerteventura, so driving on the wrong side of the road in a car that was the wrong way round was a challenge but I soon got used to it and was genuinely quite gutted to give the car back. 

When I moved house back in May I thought I had hired a transit van, still daunted by the thought of it I thought it wouldn't be that bad. However, on collection I had hired a tail lift! A much bigger van than I expected. Again, I loved driving it and even impressed my mum by reverse parking it in my driveway. 

And in November at work I did a 7 day Forklift Truck course, which I passed. Although I won't be going on it that often I still feel a massive sense of achievement for even passing and being able to drive one. 

Cats

Jasmine and Walter have just been Jasmine and Walter. They don't do much to cause concern and are pretty loyal. 

Then there is Ainsley, who decides to disappear for two months...not a highlight...but then all of a sudden return out of nowhere and meowing at me by their food bowls one morning as if he never disappeared. And then leave for a week again over Christmas, I guess that is just his thing.

Then, well, then the year got even better.

On December 23rd Bodhi Blue, a beautiful Snow Mink Bengal, joined my cat family thanks to my boyfriend.

He is absolutely amazing and gets on so well with Ainsley especially at the moment. Jasmine is just taking her time and taking a while to take to him. 

Books

I made an effort to read more in 2018 and although I didn't get through a huge amount of books, compared to others, I was pleased with what I got through.

I'm quite strict and will only read a book if I really feel connected to it pretty much early on, if not I don't waste time with it. 

I was hoping to read 2 books a month this year, which again may not be much to some who seem to be able to read a book in a day (I really envy those people) but I think still, that's 24 books this year, that's better than none.

Unofficial Auntie

My best friends had a baby last year and I became an Unofficial Auntie and her Guardian. Having two boys it is wonderful to have a little girl I can buy things for and watch grow up into a young lady. She is absolutely adorable and I am so proud of my friends and of her. 

Alex Morley Christmas Spectacular at Stonham Barns

In the half term, and any odd Sunday with the boys, one of our favourite places to visit is Stonham Barns. In fact it's also a go to with my mum, my boyfriend or even somewhere to go just by myself.
With a mixture of shops, attractions and an occasional car boot it is an ideal place to visit no matter what the weather is like.

We had the chance to visit around Christmas to watch the Alex Morley Spectacular Christmas Show and as I don't take the boys to the local Panto because they go with their school, I felt this was ideal for us to be able to have a Christmas Show experience.
With my Ukraine trip and then working either side of Christmas we went a few days after Christmas, and we still really enjoyed it. In fact as I watched I thought how it would be the perfect thing to watch to then go home, eat a roast dinner and sit around the Christmas tree feeling all Christmassy.

Anyway, before I get onto that, a little bit of background as to why I was a little extra excited and had high hopes nd I think evefor this show.
Over 10 years ago, before the boys were born, my ex-husband and I used to visit the panto in Watton, Norfolk. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law were always in the panto, set up by the local production, so we would go along to support.
During the panto Alex the Clown would make an appearance, and I think everyone was impressed by the talent and confidence of someone so young. I recognised the name when I saw the show Stonham Barns were advertising so was sure it would be a hit.

My biggest thing when going to see a show is whether or not my children enjoy it, and the best way to see that is just by looking at their faces and watching their reactions during the show.
The boys were smiling all the way through, with fits of giggles whenever Alex came on, and especially so when it involved his double act with Robbie.

Singing, dancing, magic and gymnastics make this show a real variety performance and make it a great mix of circus, and a theatre performance.
The set was so professional with a beautiful staging and lighting. The atmosphere was really lovely and everyone looked like they were having as much fun as we were.

This year we would definitely go before Christmas as our alternative to the local panto. And if the Christmas show was anything to go by, I'm sure the other shows put on during the year are just as worth a visit.