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25.2.11

Five Things I Want My Children to Know....

....About Me.

1: I have regrets, and I don’t think that regrets are a bad thing.
I regret not going to college and for choosing to continue in high school and join Sixth Form. I left with A Levels I can do nothing with, yet, had I of gone to college, I could be running my own day care centre by now or at least be working in one and doing a business management course to eventually run my own day care centre. I also regret not learning to drive sooner, and for wasting money when I worked. An overdraft which I can’t get out of in the near future which I didn’t even need when taking it out is one of my biggest regrets!
I also regret things to do with family, without going into detail I want you to know that sometimes you do have to think about yourself, and not try to please others, I have done this on too many occasions and it has gone unnoticed and unappreciated, assess the situation, see if its worth fighting for and making the effort for. Do second chances, but nothing more.

2: I am open minded, I have certain things I believe in, but I never push my beliefs onto anyone else. I always listen to what other people believe in, and their opinions, but would never try to change them, and expect people to respect my beliefs and opinions in return.
I would never turn someone away or exclude them from my life just because we don’t agree on something or live in a particular way.
I am confident and comfortable in what I believe in and I hope that you are exactly the same.

3: [Charles] I was sad that you took so well to giving up breastfeeding. You were always such a “mummy milk monster” that I thought that I would be forcing you to stop, but you making that decision out of the blue by yourself knocked me! I am so glad that we managed to carry on for 18 months after our tricky and challenging first 8 days due to your tongue tie and then the 2 weeks after whilst we I settled into the fact that everything was ok after the consultant snipped it.
I am so proud of you for doing so well at giving up and for not needing it anymore and for accepting that my milk supply obviously wasn’t as amazing as it was before I became pregnant. Those 18 months will always be so special to me.
4: I really do love you more than anything/anyone else in this world, and always will.
I never ever imagined that I could have as much love as I do. As I am writing this I only have one child and am growing the second so best to aim this statement to Charles.
Everything and I mean everything you do amazes me and makes me proud.
Every single day I love you more and more, and it seems like its impossible that tomorrow I will love you more, but I will. 
5: I cry….a lot! But it doesn’t mean I’m sad, upset, angry or disappointed. I cry a lot when I’m happy, I cry when I’m proud, I cry over a lot of things. Crying isn’t anything to be ashamed of. It doesn’t make you weak. Crying is natural, its an emotion we all have, everybody cries sometimes, some just do it more than others…and there is nothing wrong with that.
If you ever need to cry, let it out. If other people don’t like it then you can always come to me and cry on me or with me. I’ll never think you are pathetic or “a girl” for crying.
Even daddy cries sometimes ;-)