Pages

20.2.11

Its a boy!

Grrr to having dodgy internet access for a week, finally sorted fingers crossed so blog update required!

We had our 20 week scan on Wednesday and were very happy to find out that we are expecting another boy! We had both predicted a boy just before we walked into the hospital but as both of our parents had a boy and a girl we felt comfortable that we would have a girl....not that we expected a girl, but we felt it was 'right' for it to be a girl.
Confession time
I always wanted a boy as my first child, and was over the moon when we found out we were indeed having a boy first. I'd always hoped then to have a girl, my plan was always two children, a nice even number with a family of four. But after having Charles I changed my mind, and felt I was more of a "mummy to two boys" kind of gal! I've always been a girly girl in the sense of I don't like climbing trees, I like love make up, I can't run, football bores me, etc...although I'm not overally keen on the colour pink,I've always preferred blue ;-)
(not that that makes any difference at all!) I couldn't look at girls and think "awwww I want a girl", because I didn't.
One of my close friends has a girl and although I think the world of her, she never made me have the urge of wanting a girl. I was always more than happy with my boy, and decided a boy is what I wanted next. When I found out we were expecting this baby my first thoughts were of a boy, but gradually a pink feeling crept in and within no time at all I was aching for a girl. I would look at girls, of all young ages, and feel like I needed a daughter. I felt that there was a gap in my life and a girl needed to fill it. This urge became so strong that I ended up in tears almost every day (blame the hormones) and my mum confessed that she was concerned about how I would handle the scan if told the baby was another boy. And it worried me too.
Then the Friday before the scan, I had a wake up call. All of a sudden the sex actually didn't matter at all. Yes my preference would have been for a girl, but feeling disappointed at 'it' being a boy would go against everything I believe in and be wrong, and unhealthy!
So when we spotted the "extra bit between his legs" I did have a couple of tears roll down my face, but not of disappointment, but of relief that I didn't feel the disappointment that I still worried was hidden inside me somewhere.
Now we can't stop thinking of all the positives of having another boy!

I do feel that there is part of me which will miss having the relationship with a daughter which is as amazing as the relationship I have with my own mother, but I keep reminding myself that even if I did have a daughter, it doesn't necessarily mean I would automatically have a close relationship with her.

Better learn the offside rule and practise climbing trees instead!