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18.3.11

So Lucky.

I walked into Charles' room tonight just to check he was ok and not half hanging out of his bed or without covers which he always kicks off. He looked very snug and in a deep sleep, but must've heard a floorboard creek as I was about to leave the room, I heard him stir, turned round and saw him turning over and then sitting up, he was 75% still asleep.
"Biskey! Biskey!"
I sat next to him and tried to get him back to sleep.
"Biskey, biskey"
"Do you want a biscuit?"
He nodded, he normally wakes up and asks for milk, he's obsessed with the stuff. Never for a biscuit. I took him downstairs, not something I would usually down but saved hassle of having to call my husband, tell him where the secret biscuit stash was and get him to pour a bottle of milk.

I headed for the biscuit cupboard, grabbed an almost empty pack and went to hand one to Charles, who was cuddling up to Daddy.
"No" He shoke his head.
So I handed him milk instead, and put the biscuit away. I can only assume he was dreaming about biscuits which made him ask for one.

I sat down on the other sofa letting the boys have a cuddle, looking at the netbook catching up on the Twitter feed I knew what was on telly, but wasn't paying attention at this point.
"Oh no, oh dear"
I looked over to Charles, and notice that he is paying attention to what is on tv. Comic Relief. He is watching the clip focusing on malnurished babies and toddlers.
My husband told him to look away, and held his hands over his eyes. I told him not to worry, because Charles didn't understand.
But then it hit me that he obviously does understand to an extent. If he didn't then why did he say "oh no, oh dear" There was no other reason.

We are very careful over what he watches, nothing with fighting, nothing with swearing, but we have let him watch the news reports on Japan. I have distracted him when news of Libya comes on, and did the same when Egypt and Tunisia were fighting.

He then asked for a mummy cuddle, and my husband brought him over, he laid down in my arms, with his milk and closed his eyes. Not fully asleep, he was awake enough to carry on drinking his milk [think dream feed almost]
I looked at him, and then looked at the tv screen. And couldn't help but think.

I am so lucky that I can provide everything my son needs to grow and be healthy and to be nurished. I don't have to worry about feeding him, or getting him milk. Anything he needs is in the kitchen cupboards, or in the fridge, and at one point, was in my breasts! If any of these things aren't in my house, I have a car I can jump into, I can drive to the nearest shop or the nearest Supermarket and pick up whatever he needs, bring it back and he will be satisfied.

Charles is so lucky that he has two healthy parents. Who are able to provide for him. He has a warm house, clothes, 24/7 access to water and food and drink.Anything he wants he can have (to an extent) Money is no object.

I squeezed him tight, and asked my husband to take him back to bed, he woke slightly and asked for a "mummy cuggle", we kissed goodnight and then within seconds he was tucked up warm in bed again, as I continued to watch the deeply upsetting clips from Africa where the babies and children are nowhere near as lucky as him, and the parents are nowhere near as lucky for us.

On a slightly aside note, I also couldn't help, for a second, to realise and feel a huge sense of pride that at 21 months my son can recognise when someone needs help and when something/someone isn't the same as him, without being promoted. He could tell by just looking at these children that something was wrong.
He wouldn't have understood what Jack Dee (celebrity covering this particular clip) was telling us and explaining to us, so this proves how strong these images are.

Tonight I was able to offer him a biscuit, even though it was rejected, and it meant nothing, I just put it back in the packet and placed it back in the cupboard to be enjoyed another day.
I was able to fill his bottle up with milk for him to enjoy, knowing that if he didn't want it that it didn't matter, I could just stick it in the fridge for later.
The people in this clip don't get these benefits. Every single crumb of food and every drop of liquid is so precious.

We are lucky. So lucky.