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6.5.11

With a New Baby, Comes New Friendships

I am linking up with JoJo's So-Called Life with this blog post.
JoJo wanted to create her own linky/meme which summed up a lot of what her blog is about.
I needed one that reflected who I am and what my blog is all about. I wrote a list of words that describes my blog to see if I could get some kind of inspiration. Although vodka and glitter came up so did friends and laughing. I decided that we need a link-up where we can all share stories about our friends and how they make us laugh. I blog a lot about mine. Last year, I had such a tough time and I realised how important my pals are to me. I'm hoping that every two weeks, I'm going to dedicate a post to one of them and try to tell you a funny/quirky/engaging story.
Sadly this won't be a frequent link up for me. I have very few friendships now. Because I married young (19) whilst a lot of other friends were just moving in with their partners, or getting together with their partners, or in some cases just discovering boys (?!) it seemed a lot of people didn't know how to "be" with me and expected me to not be the same person just because I was now a Mrs rather than a Miss. Stupid, so stupid.
I had other friendships which broke down due to them being dishonest. And my most upsetting friendship breakdown was due to lack of effort on their behalf (I may use this one week as although the friendship is over its still worth blogging about and is something I need to get out)

I was always told that after having a baby I would make lots of new friends. I was really excited by this and spent time thinking about my son making friends with other children at the huge amount of baby groups I'd be going to........except these are almost non-existent, or the ones you do go to, are full of mums who already know each other and aren't so willing to let knew people in.

Throughout my pregnancy there were other pregnancy announcements from old school friends on Facebook. I'm not going to lie, and I've been honest with other people about this before with them, I was a tiny bit gutted. There we were, trying for a year for our baby, and here were people I was "friends" with and they were accidentally falling pregnant....at the same time as me. [This really should make for another blog post so I can move on with this one]

Anyway, after a week away at Center Parcs I was on Facebook and up popped an old school friend asking for advice as she was taking her daughter to Center Parcs in a months time and wanted tips on what to take. Her daughter is almost 2 months younger than Charles.
After a brief chat we realised we didn't live too far away from each other, shared the same doctors surgery and childrens centre, and we agreed to meet up one Friday morning at the Baby Play group.
I hadn't seen this friend for 8 years. We were never that friendly at school. We were friends but didn't hang out together. We were in the same form group and had some classes together.
She was always quite sporty at school and I wasn't, so we didn't really have anything in common and I always felt a little intimidated by anyone interested in sport.

I was nervous at meeting up, thinking we'd probably only see each other twice and that would be it.
Although I am delighted that this is totally not the case.
A year and a half on we are close friends and our children are too.We've spent the day together today and its clear to see that our children simply adore each other and it makes me so happy.

As I said in the past friendships have broken down due to dishonesty and lack of effort, both of these things I now become very wary of in a friendship and do tend to back off and try not to get too comfortable.
Except with her I feel very comfortable. We can joke with each other, real proper banter, and I feel that if she says something that I find hurtful I can approach her about it....I haven't felt like that before.
It seems very comfortable and yet at the same time uncomfortable because I am not used to it.

I am constantly telling her off for being so good to friends. She is let down a lot from other people but gives all the time. She drops anything for her friends and to some it seems is now taken for granted, which really winds me up...a lot.

I tell her a lot how much I appreciate her, and how she needs to learn to say no and make up excuses so she can get out of things. But she is too good and never listens.

Not once has she cancelled a meet up with me and Charles. Never.
She is very reliable. And has just been so amazing during this pregnancy. I didn't expect her to be so excited, but she is. When I was pregnant with Charles I didn't really have any friends who supported me or where there throughout, so its been a breath of fresh air to have her in my life whilst I'm going through this.
Its also very convienient as she has offered her services if i go into labour....services to babysit Charles or to taxi him to my mums, not to deliver the baby!
She would be there 24/7 if it wasn't for her part time job.

Today, I gave something back BIG TIME.
I asked her to be Godmother when we Christen our new baby. She was over the moon, I was so nervous about asking her. With Charles we had 4 family members as his Godparents and are taking a different stance this time.
There was no doubt in my mind that she is the right person for the job. And from her reaction today, which included a happy dance, I am even MORE sure we made the right decision.

The most fantastic thing about this friend.....she went to see Peter Andre with me in concert last year ;-) We booked our tickets on our third meet up. I should've known at this point that she was a keeper....and she definitely is.

I really wish I could name this friend and add photos but as she doesn't know about my blog I want to respect her privacy and don't want to add without her permission.