A hormonal rant [whilst I still can]

Apparently when people come round just after you've had a baby they will tell you to just sit there and will put the kettle on themselves. This is untrue.
Its ok, you sit there, I'll struggle to get up, go get you a drink, struggle to sit down comfortably again.
Oh, you want lunch too? No of course I expected you to stay all day and not just a couple of hours. I wasn't planning on napping this afternoon or having a long soak as the boys napped.
No I don't have much in the fridge/cupboards for lunch. Sorry that I've been busy giving birth, trying to rest but instead having to run around after visitors, sorting out my toddler, sorting out my newborn, saving my energy for night wakings. Don't worry, I'll just feed you the last bit of food I have left until I can send my husband out tomorrow for food. Don't worry about it being mine and Charles breakfast.

No Jonathan isn't off for 2 weeks. He's self-employed. He doesn't get two weeks paid paternity leave, so yes he is back at work yet.

I know Harry is here and he's healthy and safe but that doesn't make the birth any less scary or traumatic.

I don't care that your baby was bigger than mine, 8lb 9oz is still classed as big. So eff off!!

Why are you asking me if you can do any jobs? How about clean up after the mess you've made in my kitchen. Throw your rubbish away and hoover my lounge like I've asked you to!

DON'T tell my son off. 1: he's done nothing wrong. 2: that's not my style of parenting. 3: I haven't given you permission to discipline my child. 4: he's fragile and sensitive right now! He might seem ok but he's not!

You are cleaners. CLEAN!!! I shouldn't be cleaning up after you, you should be cleaning up after me.
Oh and acknowledge a text when I send you one saying we don't need you to come due to giving birth, I could do without having to sit and wait to see if you are turning up or not through not knowing if you received my text!

Oh, and then you turn up a week later, when we have again said we don't need you, and you are just carrying a bucket of cleaning products and no hoover? Seriously, no hoover???? Its bad enough that you don't seem to own a mop!

Oh I'm so sorry I didn't text you back straight away. Only I'm a tiny bit busy with my sons!!

Midwives: ring me back re birth debrief! Its bloody serious!! Glad you don't see it as a priority.

To new cleaning company: Thursday 10am. I expect you at my door so you can give us a quote. Its rude to just not turn up or not even ring me to say you're not able to make it!

Yes I know that Harry is windy. It doesn't mean I'm not winding him properly!

And finally.....
Really, YOU were tired and couldn't sleep the night I was in labour. Really, must've been bad for you missing out on that sleep. TRY BEING ME IN THAT SITUATION!! I WAS AWAKE, IN PAIN, IN LABOUR AND WORRIED FOR MY SON!!! I was exhausted, I had no energy but had to push a baby out of my body, don't tell me you were tired because you missed a tiny bit of sleep.
This is why you shouldn't have been told I was in labour.
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