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28.8.11

It's all about the Confidence........

Since having Harry I've noticed how much certain friends and friends of friends watch me to see how I'm coping. Am I struggling? Am I leaving one child out and concentrating on the other?

I haven't ventured out of the house much by myself with both boys since having Harry. Simply because I am worried that I won't be able to cope. So far we have:
Visited 2 friends houses.
Gone to a second birthday party [at another friends house]
Had a trip to Asda.
Popped to the beach for 20 minutes to watch some planes on Air Show day.
We've had little trips to my mums house, and to the recycling centre but both boys stay in their car seats so its easy.

I need to get out of the house, not for my sake, I'd stay in all the time if I could, but I think its important for Charles now that he gets some freedom and isn't cooped up in the house 24/7.
It doesn't help that we are in the middle of the school holidays at the moment so the park near us is packed with a range of ages from toddlers right up to sixteen year olds running around everywhere-my idea of hell.

The health visitor asked me if I had been out much so I was honest with her, told her exactly what I had written above and promised [myself more than her] that once the school holidays are finished I will make more of an effort to get out and about.

I've set myself 4 places to go to with the boys, SOLO, within the next 4 months.
  • The park
  • Safari Park
  • Shopping in the high street
  • My nans flat [exploring toddler heaven with lots of things NOT to touch!]
When I was pregnant and had nothing else to plan I decided that I would stay on top of replenishing the change bag. That I would write a list and pin this list somewhere prominent and basically tick off the items each time.
This is yet to happen.
This is such an easy job yet I can't even keep on top of it [although it doesn't help that my husband would get nappies out of the changing bag rather than the nappy boxes we have in the lounge] which I don't think bodes well in my quest to become Supermum to my two boys!


My confidence has always been low and meant that Charles only went to one baby group-which was music group. We went to a toddler group with a friend 1 and a half times. The first time would've been ok had it not been pouring with rain and another boy been determined to pick on Charles the whole time we were there, and we left early the second time as one of her children was really upset through teething.

This year once the term starts I'm telling myself to go to a couple of classes and make an effort for Charles' sake. But what do I do if Harry won't stay asleep in his moses basket and Charles needs me/wants me?
What happens if Harry needs feeding whilst we're at the park and I have to take Charles away from the slide and place him in the pushchair whilst I feed Harry but in that time he's tantruming because he wants to stay on the slide??
Worst of all, what do I do if he decides to run off and I need to leave the pram?? [my worst fear right now!]

Last week on Twitter I asked for any hints/tips and experience stories from other second-time + mums to see if they could help me and for me to share their knowledge to help anyone else going through the same.

Two fab Bloggers sent me some great advice which was too good to chop up and add to this post so instead I decided they both deserved their own posts. So welcome my two guest bloggers and read their fab advice:

Tips for Toddlers and Newborns by Emma at Mummy Mummy Mum 

Solo Outing by Alli at Mum 2 Four

In September I hope to be able to cross off at least one of my "places I must go" list. Fingers crossed it goes ok!