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7.9.11

Being honest with your children.

From day one I've always said that I will be honest with my children about how their bodies work, how babies are made [to an extent until they are old enough to understand] where babies come from, the difference between girls and boys and so on.
We fib enough to them with Father Christmas, the tooth fairy, the Easter Bunny and so on that makes me want to be truthful where I can.

So far this has worked out really well for us.
As soon as we knew I was pregnant with Harry we were honest with Charles and told him that there was a baby in mummies tummy. We let him be in the room when we watched programmes such as One Born Every Minute and Baby Hospital so he knew what a baby looked like. We told him the baby was a boy as soon as we knew and once we decided on the name we told him and it definitely helped him bond with my bump.

When I was in labour he was aware of the fact that I had gone into hospital to make sure Harry was ok and when we knew for sure that I would be staying in to give birth my mum kept him up to date. Although he was only 24 and a half months we felt it was important for him to know as having a brother was just as important and special for him as it was for us to have a son.
When we sent the text to my mum to let her know Harry was here and was ok she informed Charles that Harry was here and mummy had done really well [one of the best phonecalls I ever had was when they woke up in the morning and phoned us. Charles said "Hello Mummy. Harry is here now. Well done mummy]

I've never been shy being naked around Charles. We used to share a bath together a lot when I was breastfeeding, since then its been difficult as 1-I didn't want him to see my boobs and want my milk again and 2-I was then heavily pregnant. We did share a couple of baths together up until I had a big bump.
We made him aware from an early age that he has a willy. He knows daddy has one too. To stop confusion we've always let him know that mummy doesn't have a willy and, after hearing a friends son call it this, we decided to refer to "my bits" as a ladybum! He knows mummy has a ladybum because she is a lady, and his friend Grace has a "ladybum" because she is a girl.
He has never asked where mummys willy is or why mummy doesn't have a willy which I am really proud of.

To go together with this I decided that to stop questions of "mummy, where does a baby come out of?" and a silly answer of "it's magic" or "my bellybutton" I let him know that Harry comes out of mummys ladybum (should it be called a babybum??) He accepted this and I know we won't have too many questions when he is older.

For me, I like the fact that we have been honest and in a few years time won't have to turn round and say "well actually, the baby didn't come out because of magic. Mummy pushed him out"
He knows the answer already.

When it comes to telling him about sex, I won't go into all detail obviously until he is old enough to understand. But if he asks how babies are made we will be as honest as we can without going into too much detail, eg/ an egg in mummys tummy.

My mum and dad has to be honest with my brother and I at a very young age about sex. This was due to a boy bringing his brothers porn magazine into Primary school and showing us. We obviously went home and asked questions and told our parents.

They bought this fab book for us The Body Book by Claire Rayner and it helped to explain not only sex, but body development. Breasts, erections, periods etc. And is certainly a book we'll be using to explain things better and easier to our boys.
And thanks to being honest from the start, we've got an easier job than we would've done had we chosen to hide certain facts and give wrong information.