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1.11.11

The Jade Goody Effect

I've mentioned before and am not ashamed to admit that I was (and still am, despite her no longer being with us) a Jade Goody fan.

I'll never forget the images of her so poorly during her tough battle with Cervical Cancer.

I was pregnant at the time with Charles.
It was hard to know that she would be leaving behind two boys, especially a I was due to welcome my first into the world soon.

I remember the moment my husband came into the bedroom on Mothers Day 2009 and told me that she'd lost her fight. I cried all day.
The day of her funeral, I cried all day. My husband ended up taking me out for lunch when he got in from work that morning and tried to keep me out of the house for the remainder of the afternoon so I didn't watch the tv footage of her funeral.

Last year I received my letter inviting me for a Cervical Screening Examination. I was, at the time, going through an abnormal bleed which turned out to be a chemical pregnancy but my plan was to have the examination once the bleeding had settled down and my periods were back to normal. This was also agreed with a doctor.

I then fell pregnant with Harry so didn't get round to booking my appointment and having the examination.
And I will be honest, I was quietly relieved.
I don't understand though why we are so self-conscious and shy about "that area" of our bodies.
Why do we treat it any differently to our hands? Knees? Feet?
Since breastfeeding I feel more comfortable showing my breasts to a doctor if I had a problem but still feel tense and anxious about them giving me a vaginal examination.

I'm incredibly self-conscious about "that area". Especially after having two children, and especially as it was only recently that I gave birth.

Last week I received a letter.
It was an invite to a Cervical Screening Examination.
I immediately went all funny and my mind was telling me not to pick up the phone and book an appointment. Just rip up the letter and ignore it.
But I couldn't.
One name popped into my head, Jade Goody, and that was it. I had to book it.
I figured I had to book it there and then before I changed my mind and put it off.

"Next Wednesday at 9:50?"
"Yes, ok. I'm free."
I felt an odd weight lifted from my shoulders yet a sick feeling.
The last time I was examined "down there" was when Harry was born and it brings back awful memories for me due to the trauma I suffered.
Thankfully I know that on the system at my doctors surgery they have noted that I had a traumatic birth so I hope the nurse is aware of this and isn't so harsh when I cry and tense up.

When I was 21 I asked my surgery if I could have a smear test and was told no, because the age in England for smears is 25+.
I honestly think this is disgusting.

If it wasn't for Jade Goody though I doubt I'd of seen the appointment as terribly necessary. Especially as my previous smear test request was brushed off and made it feel as though it wasn't important.

With two young boys now and not being that much younger than Jade was I know how important it is to get seen, to get tested and to seek help when there is an abnormality.
Thankfully this is just a routine test and not due to any abnormalities I have sensed or am worried about.
Before go into the room tomorrow I will think of Jade, her boys and my boys and know that this 15 minutes of discomfort and embarressment will be totally worth it.

If only they supplied gas and air to make it a little bit easier.....