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2.1.12

There's Something About New Year...

 ...And I can't quite put my finger on it.
Something which makes me not like it.
Something which makes me not understand the hype or celebration.
Something that makes me emotional.
Something that makes me want to bury my head in the sand and be able to sleep through the annoying firework displays and somehow not see the Happy New Year texts always sent at stupid o clock and to ignore people saying "Happy New Year" to me.

I celebrated when I was younger. Or I'd stay up and watch the celebrations on tv, until I was old enough to go out. The only times I did celebrate were when we went, as a family, to the local pub to the party they had. It was always good fun.
We also, as a family, went to the beach to see in the Millennium. There was my mum, dad, brother, nan and me. All wrapped up warm in the cold weather soaking in the buzzing atmosphere.
Unfortunately my dad ruined this celebration, something I won't go into on this public space but he wasn't with us when the clock struck 12, he came back just after. Whether or not this has played a part in my lack of enthusiasm for this "event" I do not know.

I don't understand the trend of staying up until 12, saying "happy new year" kiss then go to bed (to sleep!)
Can't I just go to bed at 10 and say Happy New Year when I wake up?

I think the other thing is that for me a year isn't always January-December then we start all over again. Ok, it is in terms of "real life" and the calender etc but for me a year also starts with our birthday month. So my years have always started in September. I start Charles' years from June. Harry's from July. My husbands in March.
School years were always started in September also.
Financial year starts in April.
Because of all this, January has never meant much to me at all.

Also I think the fact that everything seems to carry on and there's no "wiping the slate clean" experience with New Year and that everything is the same just makes it all insignificant to me.
If there was some big change that came with the turning of the clocks at 11.59-12.00am then yeah maybe it would make me want to be involved in the hype and celebrations, but nothing changes.

For me, its just another month.
The year doesn't matter, its just ticking over like all other years have.

And as I post this at just past midnight I wish you all a "happy new day!"...to me its the same thing.