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23.2.12

Bite!

Ouch!
Pain shoots right through me.
I stop myself from swearing...just.
I check for damage.
No blood.
Phew.

Later.
Ouch!...again.
Pain shoots right through me...again.
I stop myself from swearing...again.
I check for damage...again.
No blood...again.
Phew...again.

This happened 4 times today.
4.
It might even have been more than that.

I've tried everything I can to avoid it.
Teething gel.
Changing positions.
Controlling the latch better.
But nothing is helping.

My baby is a biter.
Instead of feeding he's biting my breasts.

I remember when Charles did this. I would remove him for 5 minutes then latch him back on. Almost every time it would then be ok, he'd latch on fine.
With Harry its complete hit and miss.

As soon as I yelp (I can't help it) it makes him jump and as I remove him he smiles.
Almost as if he meant to hurt me.
I make him wait and then try again.
And I feel his teeth underneath, rather than his tongue.
I remove him again and take him up to my shoulder.
Rock, rock, rock.
Pat, pat, pat.
He gets stressed.
I get stressed.
One of us is crying.
Or we're both crying.
Charles has no idea how to help.

I get anxious about latching him on at each feed now and I HATE feeling anxious.
I hate not looking forward to a feed.
I hate feeling uncomfortable feeding and want it...no...need it to go well.

I get angry.
I don't show Harry I'm angry at all.
He can probably sense that I'm tense though.
I relax my shoulders.
Deep breath. And...
Perfect latch.
Ahhh this is a better feed.
My milk is pouring in.
The other boob is getting engorged.
This boob is also getting engorged but its fine as he's taking the milk in really well.
I enter my content world of watching Charles play, glancing between my two gorgeous boys, whilst Harry watches me as he feeds.
OUCH!
Pain shoots right through me.
I stop myself from swearing...just.
I check for damage.
No blood.
And my nipple is still attached.
Phew.

Charles looks at me and laughs (he doesn't really know what's happened and just thinks my yelp is funny)
Harry has a cheeky smile.

I can't help but feel humiliated.

Is it really too much to ask for breastfeeding to just go smoothly?