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16.3.12

Screamer Shame?

I haven't watched any of this series of One Born Every Minute. 8 months on Harrys birth is still raw at times, plus, I'm just not interested anymore which is a shame as I used to really enjoy it.
I never have to look at the tv guide to know when its on, my Twitter feed and Facebook news feed are normally both full of comments from women clearly watching the show.
"Push!"
"Awwwww look at that baby"
"Wow! 9lb 8oz. Ouch!"
"...<insert bitchy comment about the man here>..."
You'd think this programme would 'unite the sisterhood' and we'd all be brought together in a 'well done, you did it! Good on you! Women are amazing' attitude.
More often than not though, the opposite happens.
Bitchy comments like;
"I coped without pain relief, how come she can't"
"Ha! She looks terrible"
"Why is she crying?"
And one I especially hate;
"There's no need to scream"

With Charles I didn't scream but I made a noise as I pushed him out. From memory it was similar to that of a cow moo-ing.
With Harry, it was a complete different matter.
Contractions and general pushing left me breathless and emotional.
I had had far too much gas and air and felt so 'drunk' so I cried at the end of every contraction.
When it came to the emergency of leaving the midwife led unit and going to find a bed in the central delivery suite I'd had enough.
Contractions this time were 100 times more painful than any contractions I had with Charles (which from memory I quite enjoyed!) added to the fact that I was fed up with being in for so long, I missed Charles, I hated the fact that so many people knew I was in labour AND then we had the Vasa Praevia to contend with, I was bloody scared! I didn't know if I could give birth naturally or if it would lead to an emergency c-section.
I didn't know if my baby would be ok.

In between going from the MLU to CDS I had to hope I had no contractions because I had no gas and air. I was also far too aware that anyone could see me as I was pushed along the corridor.
I was able to give birth naturally due to the amazing registrar who kicked Vasa Praevias bum and burst my membranes.
The pain was majorly intense.
Throughout the labour I knew something was wrong because although I was pushing, I didn't feel like the 'top of my bump' was pushing down at all.
After my waters had gone it felt like all of that pushing had been saved up and was coming all at once.
I'm not a violent person but for that pain to make me lash out proves just how bad it was. On top of that I wasn't with it anyway due to the ridiculous amounts of gas and air I'd had.
I thought I was asleep but had been woken up by my loud screams.
And when I say loud I mean LOUD. VERY VERY LOUD!
I was left shaking and very sore afterwards and screamed a tiny bit as the midwife stitched me up. Although it was more of a loud yelp followed by lots of ow-ow-ow-ow-ow's.

Why should I be ashamed of screaming?
Birthing a child IS a painful experience. The burning sensation as the head crowns is undeniably painful.
Especially giving birth with no pain relief other than gas and air, of course its going to hurt and a scream should be allowed.
In fact, a scream should be expected.

There's not rule book for the perfect birth.

Section 2.6 of the perfect birth handbook:
The only noises to be made during labour should be whoops and cheers. Screams and 'moo sounds' are strictly forbidden'. If such noises occur then the labour was unsuccessful and the mother has failed.

The main aim of any birth is to make sure new life gets into the world safely...
Surely any birth should be celebrated. Whether it be easy, traumatic, natural, assisted, caesarean, screamer, or mooer. Criticising anyone's labour is a very ugly thing to do.