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10.5.12

The Fairytale.

What is it we dream of as children? Some of us girls at least.
Meet Mr Right, marry him, have babies and live happily ever after.
It sounds so simple, doesn't it?

Life seems very odd right now.
I found Mr Right when I was 17.
I got married at 19.
Had my first child at 23.
Had my second child at 25.

And now we live happily ever after.
Right?

What we don't take into consideration, or are even aware of when little is the hard work.
Oh it is so hard sometimes.

Marriage is hard at times.
Parenting is hard at times.
Life is hard at times.

Before children I guess I just floated along, life seemed as if it would go on forever. I didn't ever notice myself growing up.
Invisible? Maybe. Well, not quite. But almost.
Then Charles came along and...
POW!
The circle of life hit.
Big time.

I have to keep myself alive and this new little life alive too.
I HAVE to KEEP us alive.
Eye opening times certainly hit.
I became aware of new dangers.
Illnesses seemed 100 times worse than before.

And then Harry comes along...
POW POW!
My goodness!
I have to keep myself alive, Charles alive and this new little life alive too.
I HAVE to KEEP us alive.

This isn't part of the fairytale.
Simply because the fairytale isn't realistic at all.
This is real life.

I have a good marriage.
We are supportive of each other.
We've had tough times, especially due to family conflicts in the past 3 years but we've stuck together.

People said before that marriage was hard work.
I think the hard work definitely begins once you have children.
Now its about uniting and bringing these two mini-me's up.
Protecting them, raising them, teaching them, loving them.

I'm not quite sure how quite to word this without it coming out wrong but I have found that before children, marriage is very *fluffy*.
Its full of exciting conversations about when to have babies, how many babies, baby names, etc
Then when you've had your children. Well. That's it.
What's next?
Its the hard work.
Now is when you have to try your best to make life exciting.
Planning exciting trips, holidays, days out.
Making life exciting.
Not just for your children.
But for you.
Not just for you.
But for your husband [or wife]

My fairytale didn't involve hard work.
But then my fairytale wasn't realistic.

My fairytale involved me being thin, living in a mansion, lots of money, having a boy, then a girl. Then we all lived happily ever after.
Forever.
FOREVER!

My fairytale didn't involve me growing old, having teenagers, worrying about protecting my children from horrible things life brings.
It didn't involve everyday anxieties, the constant worry of "oh my god! What do I do if something happens to my children?!"

But do you realise what else my fairytale didn't involve?
Harry.
My fairytale included a boy and a girl.
My reality includes two boys.

Two utterly amazing boys.
And I wouldn't change anything.

My fairytale was wrong.

My reality is SO right.