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17.6.12

Peace and Innocence in a Graveyard

On Friday we visited the church my grandparents married, both my boys were Christened, and that my paternal grandad and 2 aunties are buried in (the graveyard anyway).
I've been feeling really stressed, worked up and depressed to a degree about certain decisions we made last year and about issues surrounding Harry's Christening.

I'm not sure I feel brave enough right now to go into detail, I should do as I have nothing to be ashamed of but there's a time and a place and though I think this is the place, I'm not sure this is the time.

I wanted to go to the church to see if it would clear my head at all. To bring a kind of peace to this dark fog.
Part of me was hoping to bump into the Reverend there so I could discuss these issues and get reassurance from her.
She wasn't there so instead we went for a walk around. I was disappointed to find the grass overgrown everywhere so it was hard to walk in and push the buggy.
We visited my families graves, I really pay more attention to my grandads than my aunties simply because I only knew one of them and didn't really have much of a relationship with her.

Charles isn't aware of what a graveyard is, he is far too young in my opinion to need to know about anything related to that subject.
I watched him as he walked through the grass, almost skipping along, totally unaware of his surroundings and the sad meanings behind most of them.
His innocence filled the air and was beautiful to watch in a weird way.

I do have a slight obsession with grave yards. Not in a morbid way but in that I love walking around and reading the headstones, looking at peoples names, year they were born, year they died, age, and if they are buried with anyone else.
So many graves were left to just decay and very few were now looked after and cared for.

A few caught my eye, and whilst I was there I took some photos of them, as well as the church and of Charles.
Three were decorated with Union Jack flags. I really smiled when I saw this. The Jubilee reunited (or was supposed to reunite) us as a nation and I felt proud that the people who put these flags down didn't forget those who had passed and wanted them to be part of it too.


And this next one made me smile a lot. The words were so beautiful and I felt a tingly goosebumpy feeling as I stood next to it.

I love this Church and part of me regrets not getting married there, although I am glad that we got the boys Christened there.