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7.1.13

I Walked Into Your Bedroom Tonight...

I walked into your bedroom tonight.
Not to say goodnight, not to give you one last kiss, not just to sit and stare at you.
But just because.
I couldn't believe I made you.
Two of you.
Two boys so different but also so similar.

Sometimes the feelings I have for both you and your brother make me feel like I'm going to explode.
How can one person feel so many amazing emotions just for two small boys?

You make me so proud.
I'm so proud to say you are mine. That I was your first home, I gave birth to you, fed you my milk, slept with you at night, helped mould you onto the boys you are today and continue to be.

You make me feel loved and make my heart feel so heavy and full of love.
I never knew that just by having these two boys love me would make me feel so complete.
You don't even have to say it. Your actions, the way you need me, want me, look for me, ask after me, need to know where I am and when I am coming back shows it.

You make me feel beautiful even when I'm at my worst. It doesn't matter what I look like, if I have make up on or not, if my hair is done or if I am wearing nice clothes, you will still tell me I look nice. You still look at me the same way.

You make me feel so protected.
Which feels wrong sometimes. I should be the one protecting you, and I do. But you do the same for me. You look out for me. You make sure I am ok and want me to be happy, if I am not you do the best you can to make me happy. Or make me better.

You make me realise that so many things we get worked up about in life actually don't matter. That by simply spinning around in the lounge or five minutes of being a Dinosaur can make so many stresses just go away.
Who cares that the dishwasher smashed another glass when you have a 1 year Stegosaurus and a 3 year old T-Rex chasing you?!

I walked into your bedroom tonight and felt so content.
No one else matters now I have you both.
When I walked into your bedroom tonight I realised how precious life is.
And I'm so glad to have you in mine.