Totally, completely and utterly predictable I know but I haven't had time to go to the zoo and take photos of Zebras as per my original plan.

Today is the final day of April, meaning it's the final day of the A-Z Challenge!
I'm glad I succeeded again this year as I did last year. I almost forgot about it this year, and only remembered when I saw a prompt about it via Twitter, therefore I didn't have time to do a few scheduled posts to ease the load.
However, it does mean I have blogged everyday, sometimes more than once, for a whole month. Which is something to be proud of in a way. Sticking to a project like this and actually getting to the end is pretty hard. Having to come up with words or topics to fit particular letters can be really difficult. I know I've struggled with a few this year.

I'm looking forward to redirecting my blog onto a steady path and having it be what I want it to be.
One of the hardest things about the A-Z Challenge for me was that along the way I've had ideas for other posts, I have a couple of reviews to do, and will soon be starting a series of posts for my BritMums Sponsors, Medela, and I've had to keep all of these posts in my head and in draft so I don't lose them in amongst the A-Z posts.

I've learnt a few things. A couple of which I'll be writing about in separate posts but one of the things is that it's no fun to write for the sake of writing.
It loses the excitement of pressing publish on a post you really love, and you really want to write and that you haven't rushed just so you hit a deadline.
I did have a blog project planned for May but I think I will now leave it until June so I have plenty of time to prepare the posts and make sure everything is how I want it to be.

I can't believe how exhausting it is writing a post everyday, probably because it was more of a chore than a passion.

So, although I'm glad I took part in the challenge, I'm also glad it's now over.

I find I can be quite uninspired when it comes to meals.
Cottage pie, pizza, spaghetti bologneise, curry, pie, roast chicken, sausage and mash.

Every now and then I'll get an idea, and cook something from scratch.
My Carbonara is probably my favourite thing to cook because it's easy and can be adapted in many different ways. But I don't want that to be my only speciality dish.

Inspired by the starter when we went out for our anniversary I bought a selection of ingredients and hoped for the best.
My starter was: King Prawn, Calamari and Chorizo in a chilli oil (obviously written a lot better on the menu but you get the rough idea).
My husband doesn't like Calamari and I forgot to buy the King Prawns but it was yummy without those.
I don't tend to keep note of measurements and amounts as I like to always make things up so excuse the lack of numbers here.

You will need:

Chorizo (I used a Chorizo ring)
Spaghetti
Red Onions (2)
Sun blushed cherry tomatoes
Mozzarella
Chilli oil
Parmesan
Red wine (4 dessert spoons)

First finely chop and fry your red onions, I used two.
Chop up some Chorizo and add it to the onions. Fry for around 15 minutes.
Start cooking your spaghetti at this time.
One the Chorizo is cooked add the tomatoes and mozzarella. Mine came in a pack together so I don't have amounts but you don't want to use too much mozzarella as it does clump up once mixed with the spaghetti. Add the red wine too.
Once your spaghetti is cooked, drain it and then return to the saucepan and drizzle with chilli oil (as much as you like).
Mix the spaghetti into the Chorizo mixture.

Serve on a plate and top with finely grated parmesan.

Enjoy!

Y for the a-z challenge...YUM!

This year is going really fast isn't it? Or is it just me?
Week 17 already, and almost the end of April. I can't even remember March ending!
Another tough week for us all again. It almost feels like winter with the diseases we've had the past month, although winter with lovely weather outside!

Monday: We noticed yesterday that one of Charles' eyes was gunky and was swelling even more as the day went on. We knew what it was but didn't feel it was necessary to see the out of hours doctors at that stage and with him waking up with two swollen eyes I phoned the doctors this morning. They prescribed drops so we went to collect those. I kept him home from preschool.

Tuesday: Harry started to get gunky today so we started him on the drops too.
Charles' eyes were slightly better so we continued with the arranged tour around his Primary School.
It was also my wedding anniversary which you can read about here.

Wednesday: Charles' eyes were slightly better but I kept him away from preschool just in case. In the afternoon we went for a walk just to get out of the house which was nice except we were constantly playing "dodge the dog poo" so ended up going home sooner than planned.

Thursday: Charles went to preschool today and it was my turn to have a sore eye.

Friday: My eye was considerably worse. Very red, swollen and sore. My husband took Charles to preschool for me and I collected with sunglasses on, looking silly when it was raining.

Saturday: Both eyes were now very red, very swollen and very sore. I got an appointment with the out of hours doctors and my mum drove me there as my husband had left for work.
The afternoon was spent at home eating cakes, playing in the garden and bathing the boys.

Sunday: My husband is having to work today. Booo. My eyes are less swollen but still sore and itchy. I'm supposed to be going to a WI Birthday Party today but won't be able to and I'm so disappointed.
My mum has come round and is playing in the garden with the boys and I am relaxing on the sofa watching some YouTube videos (I've just become rather obsessed by some vloggers, and wish I had the confidence to do it myself, I'm in awe) and catching up on blogging/commenting on others blogs.

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I've been lucky to have been on quite a few holidays and mini breaks, or even fun days out as a child and as an adult.
I wish I could remember every single place I have been to.
I have particular memories of certain places but have no idea where the places actually are.
I went on a cruise with my parents, brother and nan in 1998 and a second cruise in 1999. The second cruise was two weeks long and I can only remember about half of the destinations.
It's quite sad that I visited these places and can't remember them.

I don't want to go through the same with the boys. Not being able to tell them where we've visited and which place matches which memory. So, I'm going to put together a folder with a map of the UK for us to mark any holidays or mini breaks we have here, as well as days out when we visit other counties, town and attractions, obviously marking them with an 'X'.
We'll have pages to fill out writing down where we went, and what we did. As well as basic information like the date and so on.
And I also want to include a map of the world, for them to mark the different countries they have visited, again writing basic information such as the date as well as what they did, who they went with, and how long they stayed.

I don't want it to be too in depth, unless if it needs to be. I just want it to be a reference for the future.

When you look back on your life its good to look at the positives, right?
At only 27 I feel like I've had a pretty good life. Ok, it's had its struggles but whose life hasn't?!

At 17 I met a wonderful man
At 18 he proposed to me
At 18 we moved in together, which also resulted in me moving to a completely different county
At 18 he surprised me with a birthday trip to Disneyland Paris
At 19 we got married
At 19 we visited Disneyland, Paris again, for our honeymoon
At 21 my husband took me to Disneyland Paris again
At 21 we got our first mortgage together and moved back "home"
At 23 we went on an amazing cruise together
At 23 I fell pregnant and gave birth to my first beautiful baby boy
At 25 I fell pregnant and gave birth to my second beautiful baby boy

Then at 27 I've had an amazing few months.
I had to fight to get the kind of therapy I needed. After a year of feeling unimportant and like I was just a number I sent off a very long email and got a very quick response, and then within a month had my first assessment with my new therapist.
A day or two after this appointment I was interviewed Live on Sky News.
And then, in March, being super brave and going to my first WI meeting.

I seem to be throwing myself into these things that I normally wouldn't do, or would think twice about doing. And it's really quite exciting. And it makes me feel proud.

We constantly say to Charles that he can do anything he wants to do.
And I think as adults we forget that. We have so much control over our lives and sometimes we put the barriers up way too high.
And more often than not we say we CAN'T do something, when we CAN.
The truth is, that we just don't WANT to do it.

It surprised me how many people said, when I mentioned the Sky News interview and the WI Meeting

I have an on-off relationship with herbal teas.
I go through phases of really liking them, and I think I probably then drink too many and totally go off them.
It's a circle I tend to repeat over and over.
Binge, go off them, binge, go off them. So I've now learnt to not over-indulge so much, and as a result I'm able to enjoy the teas a lot more without worrying about them going out of date in my cupboard because I've gone off them.

I'm quite adventurous when it comes to the flavours of herbal teas. Although it tends to be a mixture of fruity flavours.
Until recently when Higher Living sent me some Licorice and....wait for it....Sweet Chilli.
I'm a fan of sweet chilli, but normally as a dip, or with chicken in a baguette, or smothering my crispy beef from the Chinese. But in a tea form? Surely it wouldn't work.

Well, surprisingly, it does.
It really, really does.

My immediate thoughts were that it would be really strong, and would require a glass of milk to be consumed between mouthfuls.
But that wasn't the case at all.
It was sweet, as expected and obvious by the name, but the chilli taste wasn't too overwhelming and would just slightly tickle the tongue and back of the throat but wasn't at all unpleasant.
It was really enjoyable and surprisingly refreshing.

The Licorice flavour was the one I wasn't looking forward to so much. I'm not a fan of Licorice but I thought I would at least try the tea before completely dismissing it.
It is really sweet but very nice. I really didn't think I would like it at all but I did. I found it to be a great substitute for late night sweet cravings. I tend to stay up late and rather than raiding the cupboards for something naughty I would make a cup of this and feel much better.

A box of 15 bags costs £1.99 and are available to buy at Tesco and via the Higher Living website along with a wide variety of other herbal teas in the same range.

I was sent two boxes of teas for the purpose of this review. All words are honest and my own.

If you're a regular reader of a blog you may know I'm not the biggest fan of the park. I much prefer to take my boys to the zoo, and use the playground there.
Harry has never really liked swings. He'll normally either scream and refuse to sit down, or let you push him twice and then break down in tears because he hates it so much,

Imagine my surprise when this happened at the weekend. There was a row of 3 swings, all identical. He asked to go on all three, twice.
It was funny and actually really quite nice to hear him enjoying it so much.
I love how he is calling for his brother at the end. He loves Charles to watch him doing things.

We exchanged cards in the morning and at 10 o clock went for a tour of the school Charles will be going to in September.
We returned home, my mum had been looking after Harry and as she was about to leave there was a knock at the door.
My anniversary flowers were delivered. Charles tried to claim that he had ordered the flowers and they were from him, which was quite sweet.
The day was then pretty normal, Harry slept so I was able to wash my hair whilst Charles kept an eye on him and played with his trains.
Then my husband washed his car, and Charles washed mine, Harry still slept so I was able to dry my hair.
So that I had time to do my make up and get ready for our date night in peace my husband and the boys walked to the shop to get some taxi money. Being the wonderful man he is he returned home with a bottle of Moet.
I had a glass whilst I continued to get ready and by the time I was finished I was already a bit merry.
I heard familiar music downstairs and realised my husband had put on our wedding dvd to show the boys. Charles hasn't been interested before but he loved it, as did Harry.
Charles said "Mummy, you have a crown on!"
Knowing where my tiara was I put it on.
"Mummy! You are a Princess"
Oh, his reaction was amazing.

We then went off to a local steak and fish restaurant. The view was amazing. We were looking out at lots of boats, picking which ones we wanted to buy. I went for the smallest one. Called Serenity. My husband went for a larger one called Bubbles, but stated that he would rename it.
The meal was amazing.
I had King Prawns, Chorizo, Calamari in a chilli sauce. Lobster Thermodore. Dark chocolate and pistachio brownie. My husband had the same, apart from the starter as he had Scollop's.
We also shared a cheese and biscuit plate.
All washed down with a bottle of Rose Prossecco.

We got home and Charles was awake and whilst my husband went to bed early because he wasn't feeling well, I had a playfight with Charles and he asked me about my evening.

Other than being St Georges Day, today is also our 8 year wedding anniversary.
Of course for the past week I've been playing "this time 8 years ago".
Sunday night I dreamt that we were getting married again, at the same place, and it was 3 weeks before the wedding. We hadn't heard from the venue, I didn't know our guest list and therefore couldn't do the table plan. And I didn't like the venue anymore as they had refurbished (which they have in reality and due to the design now I wouldn't get married there).
I was glad that it was just a dream.

We had done all of the wedding planning whilst living in St Neots, Cambridgeshire. We were getting married in Lowestoft, Suffolk. We would come back at the weekend or I would stay at my mums for a week.
The week before the wedding I stayed at my mums to get everything finalised.
The package we'd chosen meant the hotel would draw an enlarged copy of our table plan, which was a huge piece of flipboard paper with the names written, messy and misspelt, in pencil. And they were also to organise our table centres. I had requested daffodils and tulips and a couple of days before the wedding I was told it would be difficult because the florist had no tulips.
I told them to do what they liked.
Turning up on the day I was disappointed by the cheap table centres we were provided with but they had managed to find some tulips so I had the flowers I wanted at least.

Last year at a carboot sale my mum bought Charles some bulbs for the garden. We all chose daffodils and tulips and yesterday the tulips started to open.
Almost as if they knew what today was and that they'd opened just in time to celebrate with us.

Since he was a baby Charles has been afraid of snails. I'm not really sure why. He had a noisy musical pull along snail which he liked at first and then all of a sudden hated.
He's been scared of snail toys, snail ornaments for the garden, even pictures of snails and of course the real thing.

I've tried to calm down his fear quite regularly. I'll tell him why they're not scary, I'll touch them, pick them up and so on and once or twice he has been brave and will softy, and briefly, touch the shell and will then hold his hands as close to his chest as he can.

We went in the garden last week and he freaked out a little bit at the sight of a worm and then a woodlouse.

So on Friday I made a deal with him.
I told him the only things to be really be scared of in the garden are wasps and bees because they can sting and that snails etc won't hurt him.
If he could face his fear of snails: touch one, hold one, and not scream when he see's one, and also not scream when he see's a worm, slug and other insects, then I would take him to the cinema as soon as we can get someone to look after Harry.
He agreed.

I thought it would take him months to do this. But after preschool we went into the garden and...he ended up holding two snails at one point!
We went outside with a spade so we could collect and bugs we found. We only found the snails in the end but still it was a very successful afternoon.

Yesterday we went out and we found an empty snails shell. He carried it for a while to show his daddy but at one point did feel the fear and threw it on the floor. I was still proud of him for carrying it as far as he did.

The photo below of him looking scared isn't a result of the snail, at that moment he thought he saw a bee.

We went shopping in Asda yesterday evening to pick up supplies for our picnic today.
I noticed a girl in a pretty dress, and noticed her wedge heels. Well, I noticed Charles look at her and thought it was quite sweet. The girl was, I thought, around 9 or 10. I didn't pay too much attention to her and just got on with our shopping.
Then I heard my name called out.
Lauren isn't a totally uncommon name so I tend to not react but I looked up, mainly because I for some reason thought that maybe the girl I previously noticed was called Lauren.
I then realised, she was looking at me. She said my name again and then said hello.
It felt like I stared at her for at least an hour. I had no idea who she was.
I don't know any girls that age. My friends don't have children that age, or sister that age. I was baffled.
Then it hit me. Well, I thought I knew who she was but then convinced myself it wasn't her because the last time I saw her, almost 4 years ago, when Charles was a newborn, she couldn't really remember me and our history together.

I said to my husband, I think that's 'H'. So I walked over to her, she was only 2 metres away I must add, and said 'You are 'H' aren't you?'
To which she replied 'yes'.
I couldn't believe it.
This girl was my little flowergirl at my wedding 8 years ago.
She is my mums ex-boyfriends daughter. They got together around the same time she was born (her parents had split up) and I remember, so clearly, the first day I met her as a newborn, I was only 16.
She seemed to fragile. So new. So beautiful.
I hadn't been around babies before and she fascinated me. 
Watching her grow up and turn from a newborn into a toddler, and then into a preschooler was amazing.
Sometimes things were hard because she didn't want me to play with her toys, or play with her so she would tell me to go away or similar.
But then other times were lovely. She wanted me around, we'd play, we'd have tickle fights. And I'll never forget the time she asked her daddy if I could stay over.
My mum would stay at his every weekend so it wasn't a problem.
I remember watching her fall asleep. I just stared at her.
She couldn't say my name and just called me 'Lulu'. When I reminded her of that 4 years ago she laughed and simply said "What? Like a toilet?!"

I was going through a tough time then with my parents divorce and us having to move house but she seemed to take my mind off everything.

When I got engaged I knew she would be my flowergirl. I say flowergirl, she was just a little bridesmaid but flowergirl seems to be the socially accepted word. So we'll go with that.
Her dress was beautiful. I wanted it for myself!
My mum made a dress to match mine and 'H's for a barbie doll and she carried it down the aisle. She looked so beautiful in her dress. I was so proud of her.

After our wedding breakfast I shocked guests by letting 'H' sit on the train of my dress as I ran through the restaurant pulling her along. Thank goodness she was a tiny little thing and my dress didn't rip.
I remember so clearly dancing with her at my wedding reception. Her finally shouting up at me 'I love your dwess'.

My mum and her now ex split up that night. They'd stayed together just so she could be my flowergirl.

I saw her a couple of times after but the last time was when Charles was a month or so old, as my mum remained friends with her ex.

I was so amazed and surprised that she recognised me. As was she.
I couldn't believe the young girl she now is. 11 years old, 12 this year (my guess was close).
Friendly, confident and talkative.
But still as beautiful as she was before.

So this week was back to school week. I didn't realise just how much to controls our lives and what we do. For months I've been saying I need to give myself a kick up the bum and actually do something when Charles is at school, or before/after he goes to school yet I still haven't done anything.
I think once the weather has changed and is warmer, as we have experienced this week, I may be encouraged to do more.

Monday: First school run of the week. Whilst Charles was at preschool I took Harry into the garden. I put washing out on the line (Woohoo!) and just watched Harry going up and down the slide. He hates swings but loves slides.
It was quite sweet watching him and every now and then he would ask where Charles was. Especially the first time he went up the slide, he sat down, looked towards our conservatory door and shouted "Charles". He likes Charles to watch him and also likes Charles to go down the slide with him or after him.

Tuesday: Grocery delivery morning and preschool for Charles. I can't really remember the afternoon! Isn't that awful. We found out Charles' school place today which was rather exciting.

Wednesday: Again can't remember anything other than Charles going to preschool. My friend's baby was born today though which was fantastic news! After preschool I drove Charles to the school he'll be going to in September so he could have a look at the outside (and so I knew how to get there) At least I think I did this today, I might have done it yesterday.

Thursday: Preschool again for Charles today. We also arranged a visit for next week to the primary school Charles' will be starting at.

Friday: Playing in the morning and preschool in the afternoon. I'm so tired at the moment that I tried to have a nap with Harry in the afternoon. I slept for around 20 minutes and then was half awake/half asleep. I can't nap when Charles is in school because I always dream that I'm late.

Saturday: I was supposed to be meeting up with my lovely friend Sarah in a nearby town but with another night of waking from Harry, in fact probably the whole week of wakings, plus the fact I don't go to bed until late because I'm waiting up for him to wake, and the fact I was so into the Boston news story, I woke up with a horrid migraine so had to cancel. I was gutted because I really looked forward to seeing Sarah but didn't want to risk driving.
My mum came over at 3 and took me and the boys out to Matalan for some fresh air. She bought Harry some new tops, and Charles a pair of shorts for the summer. I bought myself a lovely Maxi dress.

Sunday: We're off out on a Secret Adventure Surprise today. The boys don't know where we're going which is quite exciting. Charles will be packing an Adventure Pack in the morning including binoculars, juice, paper, pencils, pants, telescope, plasters and his wallet.

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There are certain rules you have to abide by in life.

Q is always difficult when it comes to things like this. 
I was going to blog about quotes and show off the various plaques and hearts with quotes on that we have around the house, but instead I want to share some of Charles' questions.
Of course my mind has gone blank but these are a few of his gems that I can remember:

Charles: Can I go to preschool yet?
Me: Not yet. You'll be going after lunch.
Charles: Can I have lunch now??

Why do girls wear tights?

Why do girls wee sitting down? 

Why do babies wear nappies?

When I was in your tummy, where was Harry?

Why isn't it twoty, threety and fivety?

What flavour is my apple?

Can I have some Lemonbolognade please?

When I was a baby I used to drink mummy milk all day long didn't I?

I was recently in a town close to us and saw the pub on the corner being refurbished. I didn't think much of it. It was a great pub, served nice food, so I didn't think much of it. I thought it would be re-opening as the same pub it always was, just with a nice new interior.

Friends had talked about their being a new Wetherspoon in that town, I was curious as to where it was and mentioned to my husband that we should go sometime.
Oddly enough I was then offered some vouchers to review the new menu, so here was a great excuse to visit.
Heading online I realised that the pub I mentioned previously was re-opened as a Wetherspoon! So already we had a positive feeling about it as we knew where we were going, and we knew there would be a lovely atmosphere.

I'd looked at the menu before we went, and was surprised at the amount of food on offer. I knew I would find it hard to pick something because of the variety and managed to narrow it down due to my new rule of trying something different to what I would normally have.
We went at lunchtime after dropping Charles off at preschool. We decided to go for a starter and main.
Looking at the starter menu online I've noticed that it is slightly different to the menu we had in the restaurant.
My husband went for the Wasabi Prawns and I went for the Nachos. I assumed that the nachos would be a small plate as I was asked to specify if I wanted it as starter or main but it was huge! It was slightly embarrassing having this huge plate arrive when my husbands starter plate was so small but thankfully my husband and Harry helped me work my way through them.
My husband loved his Wasabi Prawns, although we did feel the presentation could have been improved slightly with a lettuce leaf or slight greenery. Aside from this he said they were really tasty, hot as expected, and that he liked seeing something on a menu that he hadn't seen elsewhere.

I was really excited about my main. It was featured on the Steak Club Tuesday menu, meaning I could get the Ribs, Chips, Coleslaw and Onion Rings meal along with a drink of my choice (selection of pints, bottles, spirits, 175ml wine glass, soft drinks or hot drinks) for just £8! The ribs meal is £7.99 by itself so technically I got a pint of Diet Pepsi for 1p.
The ribs tasted amazing. Completely amazing. They are coated in a bbq sauce which is strong but not overwhelming. The meat simply fell off the bone. The chips were also really beautiful (especially when dipped in any remaining bbq sauce) and the coleslaw was really fresh, my husband said it was one of the best he had ever tasted.

He ordered the Peri Peri Half Roast Chicken served with chips and coleslaw.
He almost queried the price because of how reasonable it was. £5.99!
Again, no complaints, although it's worth noting that the Peri Peri is served as a sauce on the side rather than a coating on the chicken.

The children's menu was varied and I think would suit even the fussiest of eaters (she says whilst pointing at Harry).
We went for the obvious choice of simple 'chicken nuggets, chips and beans'. You have the choice of mash or chips and peas or beans.
It was quite a big portion but he ate a lot of it!
The children's meals cost £3.99 and include a drink of your choice (there's lots to choose from!) and a grape and apple fruit bag.

All in all we ordered:
Nachos (£5.99)
Wasabi Prawns
Steak Club Tuesday Ribs meal and a pint of diet Pepsi.
Peri Peri half chicken meal.
Pint of Guinness.
Child's meal with drink, and fruit bag

The total was just under £29.
That's amazing isn't it?
Especially as we were so full that we didn't have dinner that night.

The boys also ordered a dessert, I was far too full to order one which is NOT like me!
My husband had chocolate fudge cake and Harry had chocolate brownie chunks and ice cream...which he was supposed to share with me but ate the majority of it whilst I went to the toilet.
The two desserts cost just over £5.

So our whole lunch cost £35.

I was being a secret spy and looked around at other customers and everyone seemed really happy with their meals. When I stood at the bar to order our food every single person around me ordered food too.
It was very popular, in fact when we first arrived we struggled to find a table, which is always a good sign.

With the varied menu we will definitely be back soon, and with one currently being built in our town, I'm sure it will soon be our regular place to lunch!
We were sent Wetherspoon vouchers for the purpose of this review, all words are honest and my own.

Do you ever think you are going crazy?
You hear a voice, or voices, going round and round in your head.
"You shouldn't wear that, you look big"
"Your dress is too short"
"Your top is too low"
"Are you putting make up on?"
" What have you done today?"
And so on...

I was starting to experience this every day, and I still do. Constant picking, nagging, sniping. It sometimes makes me not want to answer the phone, read text messages, go on Facebook, or Twitter. Which is pretty hard when I'm addicted to social media and can't leave text messages unread on my phone without going mad.

When I went to therapy I talked about these voices, not suggesting I was schizophrenic before anyone accuses me of being a drama queen, but more talking about things and saying "X" then causes the niggling in my head. I talked deeper about it and for particular reasons I'm not going to go into that on here, but I felt these issues really needed attention, as I was starting to feel crazy and like I wasn't in control of my own mind anymore.

I was then told about the Poisoned Parrot. And it made complete sense to me.
It's one of the things that really stuck with me after therapy and I think about it everyday.
I haven't quite worked out how to shut my parrots up yet but I think understand what it is in the first place definitely helps when these issues occur.

The following explains The Poisoned Parrot more than I could, and is taken from the Get Self Help website.

The Poisoned Parrot

Imagine you're given a parrot. This parrot is just a parrot - it doesn't have any knowledge, wisdom or insight. It’s bird-brained after all. It recites things ‘parrot fashion’ – without any understanding or comprehension. It’s a parrot.

However, this particular parrot is a poisoned and poisonous parrot. It's been specifically trained to be unhelpful to you, continuously commenting on you and your life, in a way that constantly puts you down, criticising you. For example, the bus gets stuck in a traffic jam, and you arrive at work 5 minutes late. The parrot sits there saying: "There you go again. Late. You just can’t manage to get there on time can you. So stupid. If you’d left the house and got the earlier bus you’d have arrived with loads of time to spare and the boss would be happy. But you? No way. Just can’t do it. Useless. Waste of space. Absolutely pathetic!"

How long would you put up with this abuse before throwing a towel over the cage, or getting rid of the parrot? We can often put up with the thoughts from this internal bully for far too long.
We can learn to use the antidote: notice that ‘parrot’ – and cover the cage. "There's that parrot again - I don't have to listen to it", and go and do something else. Put your focus of attention elsewhere. Be persistent in your practice! Eventually this poisoned parrot will tire of the towel, tire of you not responding. You'll notice it less and less. It might just give up its poison as your antidote overcomes it, or perhaps fly off to wherever poisoned parrots go.

With Charles starting full time school in September *sob weep sob* I want to make sure we make the most of the time we have together. The mornings we have before preschool, the afternoons we have after preschool, our weekends and the luxury of being able to keep the boys up late if we need to.

There are certain places we want to visit as a family. Sandringham for example, revisiting Castle Acre Priory, visits to the North Norfolk Coast, and hopefully exploring Suffolk a lot more.
I want to try and do as much as I can with the boys by myself too. I know I have to challenge myself to do this but it will be worth it I'm sure.
I also hope we can get lots of use out of our zoo season tickets.

June is a super busy month. We have Charles' 4th birthday, a trip to London, a theatre trip for the boys. And then it will be Harry's birthday at the beginning of July.

We have a holiday booked for the end of August which is really exciting, and I can't wait for that.

To make sure we make the most of our time together I'm going to list everywhere we will go as a family, everything I want to do with the boys by myself, so that we don't forget. And if we are ever stuck on a Saturday or Sunday etc we can just look at the list and tick off one of the places or things to do.

Now we just need to hope for nice weather.