"You'll know when your family is complete. If you don't feel done having babies, then you are not complete".I remember someone saying this to me once Harry was born. Why do people feel that they can constantly ask you if you will have more children? I don't mind really, it's just a question, but so soon after giving birth (hours after a traumatic birth) is slightly inappropriate.
Anyway, someone asked me if we wanted more children. I did my usual reply of "oh, oh, well, no we wanted two. We've always wanted two. I might quite like another one, we'll never say never but we always wanted two".
I guess that question always seems to get me flustered.
Due to my reply the person then said that my family wasn't complete because I didn't feel done. And I wasn't quite sure what to make of that.
I look at my family and I love the team that we are. I love that we are an even number. That we can pair off.
We don't need a massive car. We can go on a rollercoaster together with no one left to sit at the side and wait.
We don't need to extend our dining room table. We can all lay comfortably in our king size bed.
We can get a hotel room, we may need to shop around a bit but 50% of the time we'll find something suitable.
I love my boys. An obvious statement and probably a silly thing to say due to it being so obvious, and I never feel a gap in my heart or my life due to not having a daughter.
There are times I've felt like it would be nice to have a daughter, but there's no burning desire or need to have one, or to try for one at least.
I think because I'm only 28 I've always felt that if I want another child I am in the position, age wise, to have another now or in 5 years time. The age gap between me and my husband could be an issue if it ever came down to it, but I think we are solid enough to be able to talk things through and discuss what each of us wants and why and to come to a decision based on our family and what's best for us as a couple and as a family.
I love babies, and I think I will forever want a baby.
Do I want a house full of teenagers? No.
Do I want extra madness on the school run? Trying to get more than 2 children breakfasted, dressed, washed, in the car and into the classroom on time? Not really.
But do I accept that having other babies would lead to that? Yes. And it would be fine. I would cope with it, and embrace it because I would have to. Because it's part of the package.
My children and my husband fill me with a lot of love and happiness and I don't feel any gap that needs to be filled.
I feel our family is complete in a sense that I am happy with us as a unit and as a team.
But I'm not sure if I feel done. What if there is never a point in life when I feel done? Would one more baby make me feel done? Would three more babies make me feel done? What if I had give more babies and still didn't feel done?