Pages

4.2.14

#YOCbookclub Month One Book Review

At the end of December Kirsty from My Two Mums came up with a great idea to start a book club. Not just any book club but one focusing on Self Help books.
The book club is titled the "Year Of Change Book Club #YOCbookclub" and is open for anyone to join.
The first book of the year was How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
I'm familiar with this book in that I have heard people talk about it for years so was quite excited to have a real reason to purchase it and read it.

I feel a bit sad to say that I was a bit disappointed by the book. I thought I would learn a lot and not be able to put it down, but in the end I became lazy with reading it and it felt like a chore.
I think this is down to the fact that I found it hard to read. I found the different examples in each chapter felt quite muddled and crammed in and I found it hard to the concentrate on what I was reading. Switching from different stories made it really hard to keep up and I had to keep going back and re-reading quite a lot and only just understanding the second time I read it, although I had to concentrate a lot.

I also felt it hard to follow because I didn't agree with some of what was written. I understand that with self help books you can just take what is relevant to you and to your experiences.
There was a piece in the book about forgiveness and although I had to speak to Kirsty to understand the context of forgiveness as I had read it in a different way, I still didn't believe in what he was saying, to the point that it quite offended me, but simply because of my life experiences so far.

The principles at the end of each chapter teach me more than a lot of what is written on the other pages.
I did make some notes in the beginning of reading the book.
I think the biggest thing I learnt was to change the way I treat my children. Although I praise them a lot when they do something right I also tell them if they do something wrong and will punish them for that when maybe sometimes I don't have to.

"B.F Skinner, the world-famous psychologist, proved through his experiments that an animal rewarded for good behaviour will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns far more effectively than an animal punished for bad behaviour. Late studies have shown that the same applies to humans. By criticising we do not make lasting changes and often incur resentment"

This was probably the most important piece for me, in all that I read, and although I have my own issues I know that this is the first thing I need to address. And so far we/I am making huge steps to change and to help them learn in other ways.

I didn't get to even 50% in the book by the end of the month, although I do feel like I really tried.
I spent a lot of time going back and re-reading which in the long-run could help me to understand what has been said so far, but obviously means it could be a while until I finish the book. It will definitely be a book I will go back to.

Kirsty found this Mind Map online and I find it to be a great summary of the book and it is a lot easier for me to understand and process.

I know others had better experiences with the book so it's worth checking out the other reviews too.

I am disappointed with this book as I expected it to be a lot easier to read and to follow BUT I won't give up on it and will keep going back to it as and when to see if I can make more sense of it.

If you want to join in with the Year of Change book club all you need to do is to download or buy the next book, which is 59 Seconds: Think a little, change a lot. 
If you would like to join our Facebook group send Kirsty a message on Twitter and she will lead you in the right direction.
The most important thing to remember with the group is that there is NO PRESSURE to finish a book. You can be open and honest about the fact you are finding a book hard to understand, or if you are struggling with certain aspects of it. None of us are professionals and we are all going a long with it together. It's our own support group I guess.
There is also the understanding that not everyone will like every book, which is the same with any book club. Some people will love the book and enjoy it, some will hate it and some will find it a bit 'meh'. That's the great thing I think, we all take our own experiences and angles from a book and if we share are thoughts then that could help others to understand too.