I always thought that one of the "best things" about me was my honesty. Maybe sometimes I am too honest? Too open? Too personal?
I don't have a problem sharing my feelings, my thoughts, and so on, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone.
And this year my mind set has changed massively. I've gone from someone who would be incredibly negative to someone who is happier than she has been in a while.
My thoughts have gone from being negative to mostly being positive, although of course negativity pops up in some circumstances but overall, I'd like to think my head is in a better place than it ever has been.
But the last week or so, I've wondered if this is the case? Or if maybe I need to show that side of me more in real life, to make more of an effort to show others that this is who I am?
Am I not showing this enough? Do I make myself out to be negative, and dishonest?
Does holding back feelings and not wanting to spill out everything really mean I am dishonest?
Does not wanting to get my hopes up and not wanting to feel let down make me a negative person?
One thing I would hate to be in life is one of those people who drains everyone else's energy. Or someone who is seen as being negative.
And I can't help but to feel slightly gutted and disappointed that I've made myself come across that way.
I'm not that person. If anything, in recent weeks I've been a lot more positive than expected for someone in my "situation".
But once someone has this image of you, how do you change that?
How do you try to show them the real you, to prove the person you really are, without them thinking you are backtracking, or changing to impress them? How do you prove to them that they have got you wrong? And that you are better than the person they assume that you are?