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9.11.15

Waking Up Smiling

You know when you wake up and you feel like you've had a full nights sleep?
I grabbed my phone to check the time, pretty sure that I must have missed the alarm (note to self, must plug in alarm clock again).
3am.
3.A.M.
What the....?!

After closing Whatsapp at 22.57, to be precise, I fell straight asleep. A few weeks ago I was still awake at 1, 2 or 3am, trying to get comfy on what was becoming quite an uncomfortable sofa. The boys would wake and come downstairs at 5.30-6am and there was no way of getting them back to bed.
And now, here I am in a cosy bed, with bedding I chose that is totally to my taste and reminds me of my 90's bedroom (minus the posters of Hanson on the wall, maybe I can get some from eBay?). Fairy lights wrapped around the headboard...and yes, I do try to be romantic, even if it's only me who appreciates it.

Anyway, back to it being 3am.
Usually I would be frustrated and annoyed at being wide awake at such a ridiculous time. But this time I didn't mind, simply because I woke up happy.
I'm probably talking this up and tempting fate and soon enough I'll be back to sleepless nights and waking up feeling like I...well I don't know...feeling a bit down about myself I suppose.
But right now, this feeling is lovely. Waking up with a smile already on my face, with happy thoughts in my head and the occasional butterfly in my tummy.
I look in the mirror and don't recognise the person looking back at me. And for once this is a positive thing.
I don't point out the things I don't like about myself and those things I want to change. Instead I see the good points.
As I put my make up on I don't plaster it on, hiding those signs of sadness, lack of sleep and stress. Instead I try my best to show off the eyes that have never felt so open and big. Adding bronzer and blusher to try and accentuate a face that is slimmer than it has been for a while.
Foundation isn't even opened, instead relying simply on concealer because you know, at 30 there are lines and signs of age that I just can't avoid.

I want make a bit more effort with my hair, and choose clothes that I feel good in. Ones that show off parts of me that I feel are my best features, and covering up those areas that aren't so great. Instead of grabbing clothes that feel comfortable as I lay curled up on my bed feeling sorry for myself.

And at 3am, even though it's dark outside and the birds aren't even singing yet, I lay there ready for a good day.
I knew I had to get back to sleep so I thought over the happy memories that I'd gained the day before, the memories that were the reason for my smile.

And I drifted back off to sleep, confident and sure that when my alarm went off in a few hours time that the smile would still remain.

And it did.