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4.8.16

#singlelife 003 | Rejection

Dating sites are a bit hit and miss. I've learnt a lot from them the past 10 months.
I think you gradually build thick skin and at first you can be super sensitive to it all, and there are still times you can sit and look and wonder where all the nice men are or even wonder why you are not good enough for the ones who have caught your eye.

I am the type of person who takes a lot to heart. I am over sensitive and annoyingly I can  fall for people quite quickly, so dating isn't the best game for me.
However, as it goes on I am getting stronger and am learning a lot about myself, about men, about the process and so on.

I realised quite early on that it is so easy to give up if one date doesn't lead anywhere, or if a conversation doesn't lead to a date, or if you don't even get a reply. It's easy to beat yourself up and to let it affect your self esteem.
I realised that this isn't what dating should be about. And I took the decision to look at each man I date for example and to learn from it.
I do think that we meet people for a certain reason.

It would be easy to sit there and think of all the reasons it didn't work out, placing all the "blame" on you.
1. I'm a mum
2. I'm fat
3. I'm boring
4. I laugh too much
5. Something else negative
But the best thing is to sit there and actually think of why you were maybe too good for them, or why it wouldn't have worked. To look at what you've learnt from how things went. How you approached them or how they approached you.

But there's also the biggest, most obvious reason it might not have worked, or why someone maybe didn't reply to your initial message.
We are able to pick and choose who we date. We swipe and check out these profiles and we decide from there.
And as we are doing that, someone is doing that for us too.

For every person we reject someone is rejecting us too and that is ok.
I think it's really important to remember that.
Just because he doesn't fancy you, and neither does he, or him, or him, it doesn't mean no one does.

It doesn't mean you're not good enough either. Maybe you are too good for them. Or equally maybe you are both as good as each other, but you simply wouldn't work.

There can be chemistry, there can be attraction...mentally or physically but there but be other bits that are missing.

Rejection becomes part of everyday. And you get used to it. You have to not take it personally, even if it makes you feel worthless or not good enough. Because you have to remember that there are people out there willing to get to know you, to want to spend time with you, or their life with you, and to love you.