15.8.18

Hesitation

I'm fed up of looking at photos which have me in them and criticising it and dissecting it due to what others may think and will say:
* Yes I put on weight
* Yes I have darker hair and some prefer it blonde
* Yes my roots are awful and I have a lot of grey hair
* Yes I have tattoos which make me look "butch" And aren't feminine (ffs!!!!)
* And all the other things

It's horrible to love a photo of you with your children, to love the pretty background, to be happy at the memory and your achievement. But to be afraid to share it because of others sucks.
Big time.

Even photos of me with my boyfriend. I think about not sharing it because I don't want people to look and think "gosh she's a dog" or "he could do better".

The only people to take photos of you being your own children. Super blury, unflattering photos to which they shout "Oh my goodness. Mummy you look beautiful".

You notice overtime how people don't take photos of you. And it's obvious why.
When you look back on memories, holidays and you even doubt yourself "was I even there?!"
You get used to it, and keep your head down when you have to, you take that step back, or to the side, when you know you might be in someone else's shot.

You take a photo. You really like it.
You are too embarrassed to share it.
You are too afraid to share it.
Because despite what people may say to your face.
You know exactly what they will be thinking or saying behind your back.



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12.8.18

Isle of Canna | Day One

When we planned our roadtrip and camping holiday to Scotland we were at first looking at the mainland. And then my boyfriend mentioned the small isles and having an island hop style break, selecting two islands to stay at.
We had a good look into it, and to be honest it was a tough choice as they all look beautiful and inviting.
Looking at the ferry timetable we paired the islands up and not doing very well at making a decision ourselves we ended up flipping a coin.
It landed on Canna and Eigg. It felt like a bit of a jigsaw really to decide on when we would go to each of the islands and for how long and in the end we decided on Canna for 2 nights, and Eigg for 3.

Canna is the westernmost of the Small Isles, in the Scottish Inner Hebrides. It is linked to the neighbouring island of Sanday by a road and sandbanks at low tide. The island is 4.3 miles long and 1 mile wide.

We got the ferry from Mallaig early on the Saturday morning and got to Canna at around 10am. Giving us pretty much a full day to get settled and set up and to do some exploring.
We had paid £10 a night to stay on the campsite, although I'm not sure we really needed to do that as with most islands in Scotland you can camp pretty much wherever you want.
However for that £10 we were met from the ferry and our luggage was taken to the campsite, and seeing as luggage isn't exactly light and we didn't want to spend a lot of the day walking with that to find a suitable location, it was worth the money.
We were the only people in tents at the campsite. There were 3 wooden pods which were booked but as the only campers this meant we weren't at all limited and pretty much had the whole area and hillside to ourselves...other than the grazing sheep. (Note: if you get up in the night needing the toilet, do not shine a torch at sheep. Their eyes are bright green and SUPER scary. I've never felt more intimidated whilst doing a wee)

Anyway, we set up and then decided to go for a walk. We headed over to Sanday to the Puffin Stack, in search of Puffins to tick off my bucket list...spoiler: we didn't see any. But we had a lovely long walk and were amazed at the beautiful views and landscape. Especially stunned by the white sanded beach that made you feel like you were on an exotic island!

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10.8.18

A 7th Birthday with Owls, Tortoises and Ice Cream

I mentioned in my post about Charles' birthday that now the boys time is shared between me and their dad it means I don't get them all day on their birthday. We usually do it so one has them in the morning and one has them in the afternoon/evening. So I tend to celebrate their birthdays properly the weekend before or after (depending on when my weekend with them falls).

They had spent the day before with my mum and as my boyfriend was on call at work it was just the 3 of us.

We've visited the Owl Sanctuary in Fritton a few times and the boys have always wanted to hold an owl. So I said they could for Harry's birthday treat.
We love the Sanctuary and the staff member was so helpful and knowledgeable. As it was Harry's birthday she let both boys hold the two owls they had chosen. I let them chose a different owl each so it was sweet that she gave them the chance to hold both.

After quite a while of holding the owls we started our drive to Hethersett in Norfolk. The Norfolk Tortoise Club were there holding an event and I wanted to go and see what it was about. We pulled over for a picnic and then went to the event.

The boys had a go on the free bouncy castle, we had a look at the tortoises, took part in the auction (winning a couple of items) and then decided to leave and to go for a walk and an explore.
We almost headed to the beach but instead we went to Caistor Roman Town, one of my favourite places to take the boys to let off some steam. It's been a while since I'd visited there actually and as we went to find the stream we noticed it was a lot bigger and prettier than previously and also had a bridge connecting it to a further field and walk.

Rather than going ahead (I wanted to save that walk for a day when my boyfriend is with us) we sat on the bridge for a while and watched all the fish, the boys collected sticks and we generally had a nice time together.

We went home for around an hour and then went out for Harry's birthday meal to a nearby burger place. Harry had won a £10 voucher to spend there when we visited a while ago so we decided to use that.
I get nervous taking them out for a meal, just me and them, but they were so well behaved. Charles was particularly amazing by going against what he would usually order and went for ribs! We didn't expect them to be such a big portion for a child but it was and he demolished the lot. Very impressed!

Not enjoying the desserts last time I went there, I offered them a McFlurry which they were happy with. However on the way to McDonalds we noticed the ice cream hut was still open down the beach. And with free parking we decided to get a 99 and sit on the sand for a while until bed time.

It was such a lovely, but busy, day. I think the fact we had no real expectations or pressure actually meant we had a really nice time and just enjoyed ourselves. Making sure we were constantly doing something that made us all happy.

Sometimes I find it hard when it is just us three. But after such a perfect day I went to bed feeling so proud of my family and of the memories we made that day.

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