13.2.18

An Overwhelming Love

It overwhelms me sometimes.
Most of the time.
I can't see how it is possible to love someone this much.
The knots and butterflies in my tummy, my racing heart, my eyes locked on his face, a smile so big it is hard to miss...And harder to remove. My ears, listening to his voice which has become my favourite sound.

My thoughts...our thoughts...on the future. Discussing travel plans and things we want to experience...together.

A man who is not only my Love, but my friend too. A man who instantly...a lot quicker than either of us thought or anticipated...became this massive part of my life.
3 months feels more like 3 years and if we haven't met previously, in another life, then this is enough proof that we were meant to meet. And meant to be in each other's lives.

I wrote a note on a random piece of paper last year, around October time, of what I wanted to find in a man.
I wanted someone who made me laugh, and who laughed at me. Someone who would randomly call me during the day just so we can hear each other's voices. Someone who would message me in the middle of the day just to check in.
Someone who would love me, and someone who I would love.
I forgot about that list. I put it under my bed, amongst all the other crap underneath there, and completely forgot about it.
Then he came along. The man I had asked for.

Three or four weeks later I found that note again and I smiled the biggest smile, knowing my wish had been asked for.

I fell for him straight away. The 14th of November. During a very very long telephone call.
And I fell hard.

And the love I have for him now overwhelms me.
The love that creeps up on me everyday and adds to the love I already feel overwhelms me.
Because just when I think I can't love him anymore than I do...it hits me again.

I've always struggled to trust people. Always having doubts about them. But him...there is something different. I would never question him or need to.
And it's such a strange feeling for me to feel so incredibly content and happy and settled.
To have no questionable, doubtful feelings.
To feel a considerable amount of trust and faith in this man.

I can't help but to wonder how I got so lucky to have a man like him.
A man who makes me laugh. Like, really makes me laugh. A man who I can talk to. A man who makes me feel pretty. And loved. And special.

And a man who makes me feel strong. He makes me believe in myself and in my abilities.
We share beliefs, faith and the same attitude on a lot of things and he has helped me in so many ways.

I can only hope to always make him feel as special as he makes me feel.
And as loved.
No matter how overwhelming it is.

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