17.5.18

Unattainable [I can see her in the distance]

I can see her in the distance.
A sparkle in her eye, a smile that is natural. That beams from her face, uncontrollable.
Her shoulders light, relaxed, with little weight on them. 
A little sass and confidence in her step. 

I can see her in the distance.
But as I move closer she gets further away. 
​I try running and every now and then it feels like I am almost there. A little bit nearer to her.
But then, she becomes faint. A blur.

​I'm left in a darkness.
Not quite black. Not yet. Just dark.
Everything around me is faded and every now and then I see and feel a little bit of light, like rays of sunshine coming through.
But they don't quite reach me.

And everyone else. Everyone around me. Slowly breaking away.
Walking in different directions. Into the light. 
I can't keep up.
They get bigger.
And I am getting smaller. 

Smaller. Unnoticeable.
No more sparkle. No natural smile. 
Heavy shoulders. 
No sass. No confidence.

Broken. Dark. 
​Pointless.​
​A walk over. Unimportant.​
​Weak. 

Sometimes I see her in the distance.
The woman I used to be.
But at the moment...she seems unattainable. ​
The woman I want to be. 

Photo credit: Unsplash
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