12.1.19

Dear 2019

Dear 2019

You have a lot to live up to. Last year was great. It obviously had its down times, in fact a few of those with two deaths in the family, one of which I am finding it incredibly hard to still come to terms with, as well as the passing of a blogging friend. 
It was definitely one of those "life is for living" reminders. 

I wrote my Dear 2018 post and wrote down some words that explained my expectations and my wishes for that year. 
Memories, strength, the best version of myself, confidence, belief, growth, knowledge, faith, strength, trust, determination. 
I also wrote a post about my promises for the year:
Save money, be in control of finances and outgoings, lose weight, write more, meditate, oracle cards. 
I can honestly say I only really did well with meditate and oracle cards. The others were a fail. But never mind. Not worth stressing or beating myself up over. 

To focus on 2019 I feel it's important to look back on 2018. To look on areas that worked and that made me feel better. 

I receive emails from a newsletter called Wild Arisings and I've just received one that I think goes well with this post that I write.

“What do I REALLY want in 2019?”    

What do I want from 2019, pretty much the same as 2018, but maybe a bit more security. To feel a little more, well, a lot more secure, in a few aspects of my life. 
Some of it is to do with things I cause, with my actions, and other things to do with other people, choices and things out of my or anyone elses control.

I've not had the best start to the year, but, I will not let that define how my year will be. 
It doesn't mean that this is how my year will be, and in fact has made me realise that it is down to me to guide what happens, down to me to decide on what controls my life, and down to me to react in the way best for me.

I guess in 2019 I am going to make me more important. 
Looking after myself, my needs, my wants, my feelings. Make me a priority and to look after myself, no matter what the consequences are.

Last year I worked a little on my own strength and not being so concerned about what other people thought of me, or of other peoples opinions. And this year, I am going to work further on that. 
To speak up for myself, and to not worry about whether or not people like my hair, like my tattoos, think I'm fat or so on.

2019, I want you to be my year of focus on me. On happiness, being content, secure, confident and sure that everything I do is for me. 

And that's it. No list of other things to focus on, nothing else to wish for or want. A simple, realistic goal to look after me. 


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