3.12.19

She thought, "If I close my eyes I can't cry"

She laid on her bed, her pillow arranged in such a way that she could cuddle it for comfort.
Curtains pulled closed.
The world shut out.
She felt them start, brewing away. The warmth and the tingle rising.

She thought...
"If I close my eyes they won't appear"
"If I close my eyes they won't fall"
"If I close my eyes, I can't cry"

She closed her eyes gently at first, then tighter. Head buried in the pillow as extra protection.

The tears couldn't break through. And with those under control, all she had to do was breathe.
Breathe.
Breathe.
That's it. That's all she had to do.
Then she would be ok.

Calm, so she thought, she kept her eyes closed.
"If I sleep this will all go away"
"If I sleep I won't feel this anymore"

Hearing a noise, she opened her eyes.
And then she realised, you can cry with your eyes shut.
One. Two. Three. Four.
Heavy, warm tears fell from her eyes and down her face, onto the pillow.
Taking her by surprise.
She left her eyes slightly open, letting the remaining tears roll down her cheeks, no longer holding them in.

Knowing there was nothing to comfort her she slowly closed her eyes.
"If I sleep this will all go away"
"I can't cry if I sleep".


SHARE:
Blogger templates by pipdig